In grey London in the middle of June

In grey London in the middle of June
I sit in my own mess
All the rain, fog, and floods
Equal only to our bitterness
A privately owned company took all this water
Leaving the rest of us dry

Our bills go up for their bonuses
While our lives hang on threads
No work for me and all the shops are closed
Public morale in shreds

I go back home to my overpriced room
I sit in my own head
In grey London in the middle of June

Looking for home

Lost in the halls
The mystic land
Head held up high
But it’s so late

Without the warmth
Your guiding hand
Where do I start
Looking for home

In the depths of the ocean
In the depths of you

I no longer see
My North Star
Clouded with fear
The dark sky

Please take me in
I wandered too long
Without a place
I slept alone

 

Teasing Fate

When I lay in bed alone at night
Turning from side to side
The sleep won’t come
No matter how I plea
Because even in the darkness
You’re all I see

The blanket becomes your hand
The pillow turns into your chest
The hum of the wind
Feels like your breath
There is no more to be said

I’m hopeless without you
Yet I can’t live with you
Was it too soon
Or was it too late
Were we only teasing the fate

I can think of this all night
Until the first rays of sunshine
Then a new day makes me forget
But when the next night comes
I’m full of regret

For tomorrow

Closing my eyes I have faith in tomorrow
Another day passed, I’m grateful and honored
After I wake up to solve a mystery of another day
Will it be love I find ora friend walking away

I’ll smile and I’ll act
I’ll make mistakes
But learn from the past

I know in the end I’ll get where I long
Or if I don’t, at least it’ll make me strong

Opening my eyes I’ll challenge the new dawn
The biggest challenge: to be happy
That’s all I want

How to feel

Most feelings I don’t understand
Foreign beings in my mind
Some strangely familiar
Yet out of reach
Nearly physical
Mostly overwhelming
And if I have to be honest
Sometimes I wish they disappeared

Then I lay covered in love
Feeling alive, calm and powerful
In a blissful ignorance
Wrapped up in faith

I forget I get hurt
And I get hurt a lot

My mind buzzes like pouring sand
Logic is left far behind
Emotions once tamed
Now rage unleashed
My body is crying
My body is yelling
And if I have to be honest
Losing control fills me with fear

Then I smell the coffee you made
I leap into joy, dance in the living room
Going blind for you
Again and again

I forget I get hurt
And I get hurt a lot

In your eyes

When the morning starts alone
I no longer care
Days come and days go
A fragile, subtle hand

A kiss, soft breeze
I tried to be a friend
You’re the sun and I’m the moon
I have to put it to rest

A glimpse of a smile
Like a ray of sun
Cut through my endless night
And just like that
You saved my heart
From such poisonous act

Like fire, like wind
Two souls came to meet
I tried to run, I tried to fight
But was left in defeat

Days come and days go
A fragile, subtle hand
When the morning starts alone
I no longer care

Who we are, who we can be

So you want to escape
What are you running from
Is it your father’s arms
Or your mother’s quiet storm

I wish I was a cloud
I could drift through the sky
Make the sun only mine
And sing for everyone

I wish I was a mountain
Have a thick tough skin
Not to bow to anyone
Not even knowing how

Then you want to begin
What are you waiting for
Some sort of forgiveness
Or your own doubts to grow

I wish I was a wind
Careless, free and swift
Carry sweet seeds of life
Chase after the sunlight

I wish I was a river
Creating my own paths
Have a will strong as a stream
Living life to the extreme

So you want to achieve
What are you hoping for
Privilege and light treatment
Results you didn’t work for

You are what you read

Some words curse, some words cure
Some make you bold, some not so sure
Words can grow wisdom, words can grow love
Purify heart, lit light in your soul
But avoid those that spark hate or urge hurt
Those that chain others or end life too soon
So don’t wait too long, get what you need
Remember forever: you are what you read

Yesterday I went to Rebel Book Club book-swap meeting. Amazing atmosphere of deep thought about the current world affairs, challenges we face and hope that we all carry in our hearts. I always strive to broaden my horizons whenever I can and this book club is certainly one of the most valuable ways to do so. It’s strictly a non-fiction company so if you decide to join you can expect deep arguments or controversial research or theories.
It was a book-swap so everyone brought a book that in one way or another changed their life, world view or character and then exchanged it with a book someone else brought. I chose to bring The Descent of Man by Grayson Perry. It is a small book with only 140 pages. But there is power there. There is an explanation of things that lead our lives without us noticing them. It is a book written to make us understand each other and the social norms that shape and govern us. It’s a book about how to navigate being a man, especially now in the #metoo era. It’s a male version of We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and just as I always recommend that one, I also recommend this one with all my heart. It opens our eyes to the other side of the issue of gender equality by taking in the other half of the population – men. For me, this book brings a bit of balance to the issue of feminism as it concentrates on masculinity. The concept, the culture, the execution, the toxicity.
The book I got was Calm the F**k Down by Sarah Knight because in this always rushing world everyone needs a bit of peace and just calm the f*** down.
You are what you read, so read what enriches you and makes you a better person.
What book has changed your views or left a lasting impression you just can’t shake off?

Of the sea and wind

When the sea comes to me
I’ll be a wave crashing so near
A deeper thought
A deeper sound
And you’ll be my new found land

So will you hold me
Until my last shallow breath
Will you love me
If it’s the last thing you have

Cause every now and then
I feel the time go by
And it’s just a short breath
Or is it just a lonely sigh?

We spend so much time apart
So is it even real?
I always try to make it right
And keep my heart concealed

Last time you burst in like a river
I didn’t have time to run
Your passion swept me in a flood
And, oh, it took my life
And I wanted to forget and I wanted to scream
But darling there is no escape, we were meant to be

If the wind comes chasing me
I’ll be a rock standing so still
Or like a tree
Or like a cloud
And you’ll be the king I crown

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